Writing on the Wall
by em2706
Summary: The Guns' friendship takes an unexpected turn when unforeseen circumstances push them into closer quarters than usual. Slash. Obviously started before the Guns' current push!
1. Part 1

Alex kicked rhythmically at his carry-on bag, sitting on the floor in front of him. "I'm so fucking sick of this airport."

"Uh-huh." Chris didn't look up from his book. He knew from experience that Alex would keep on talking, regardless of whether he paid any attention or not.

"I mean, all airports are dull, but this one..."

Orlando International Airport was busy, but most of the rest of the TNA guys were already gone. There were a few wrestlers who were taking the same delayed flight, but Alex didn't feel much like talking to anyone other than Chris, so Chris was stuck with him.

Alex slouched down further in his seat. "Don't you think this airport is duller than the average?"

"Maybe it's just because you're so used to it," Chris offered, still not looking up.

"Maybe," Alex agreed. "Maybe it's a good thing we probably won't have to come back to this shithole many more times."

Chris finally glanced up, but only briefly. "You're jumping the gun a bit there, aren't you?"

Alex snorted. "Come on, man, you see how this is heading as well as I do. I don't know. Maybe. Whatever, if it happens, I won't be sorry to see the back of this place."

"You say that now, but you know you'd miss the charming attendants and first class service."

"I assume Bubba dropped you on your head again." Alex glared around himself, hating the place and the people in it indiscriminately.

"Anyway, it's not like you'd have to worry if they canned you." Chris gave up on his attempt to read, closing his book and shoving it into the side pocket of his bag. "Ring of Honor would hunt you down for a start - Cary would cum in his pants at the thought of getting you back on the roster."

Alex smiled wryly. "I notice you made no mention of yourself. You wouldn't be interested?"

Chris shrugged. "They might bring me in for shows here and there, but I doubt I'd be full time like you would."

"You're kidding me, right? You don't think they'd fall over themselves to book you?"

"I was never as over in ROH as you were." Chris grinned, shoving amiably at Alex. "Let's face it, they'd throw me under a bus to get to you."

"You never had the same opportunity to make your mark there, you were already committed to TNA. Anyway, I'd put in a good word for you," Alex said magnanimously. "You got me my first shot there, it'd only be fair to return the favour."

"Thank you, o great and generous benefactor."

"Seriously though, man, they'd book us together."

"Maybe." Chris looked dubious.

Alex stretched and yawned. "There's a whole lot of maybes today."

"There's been a whole lot of maybes since January," Chris corrected him. "I'd still have options if they didn't book me though, I could work more shows for PWG. AAW would have me, and I could talk to Scott about Maximum Pro."

"You've thought about this, haven't you? And you said I was jumping the gun."

Chris grimaced. "After Petey got shitcanned last year, I don't take anything for granted. Especially now."

"Good move." Alex sat forward, looking animated again at last. "Hey, I bought BioShock 2. I can bring it over tomorrow if you like."

"I thought you and Julie were supposed to be doing a bunch of romantic crap tomorrow?"

"Oh. Oh yeah." Alex scratched the back of his head. "Another day then."

"You know, as boyfriends go, you suck. I have no idea why she puts up with you." Chris shook his head for emphasis.

"Well," Alex began thoughtfully, "I'm good looking, intelligent, witty, well-hung, I clean up nice, and I'm a great fuck."

"And you're hardly ever there, that probably helps."

"Probably," Alex agreed with a grin. "Previous girlfriends have been known to voice the opinion that I'm an irritating little fucker if they have to see too much of me. They've all suggested you must be permanently stoned, or you couldn't spend so much time with me without murdering me in my sleep."

"You don't sleep often enough to give me the opportunity. Maybe you can come over for a while in the afternoon, if she can spare you?"

"Maybe. I'm sure I can come up with something. I can always tell her we're planning our post-TNA careers."

Chris laughed. "It might not even be a lie." He sobered a little. "We've made it this far though, I think if they were going to get rid of us, they'd probably have done it by now."

"Maybe." Alex reached over to steal Chris' water bottle, trying to shake his paranoia. "I'm sure you're right, we'd already have our marching orders if they wanted us gone. We'll be fine."

Chris nodded, although he doubted either one of them actually believed that.

* * *

Chris was trying to decide what to have for lunch when his doorbell rang. He used to leave his door unlocked during the day, but his mother kept going on at him about it ("You'll get murdered!"), so now he was forced to actually get up and answer the damn thing when someone came over.

When he opened it, he was pleased to find Alex standing on his doorstep. "You're early," he said as he ushered Alex in and closed the door behind him. "How did you manage to slip the leash?"

"It was surprisingly easy," Alex replied, leaning against the wall. "Evidently I am a master of my craft. I've got all day."

"Dude, awesome." Chris led the way into his living room, and Alex followed behind him, shrugging out of his jacket. "I had this great idea for a song. Wanna jam for a while, see what you think of it?"

Alex wrinkled his nose, throwing his jacket over the back of the armchair before slouching down into it. "Maybe a bit later. I'm not feeling very creative right now."

"Okay, what do you want to do?"

"Right now, I think I just want to kill things for a while." Alex picked at a loose thread on the outside seam of his jeans to avoid making eye contact. It was obvious he wasn't in the best of moods, but Chris knew asking him what was wrong would only irritate him.

"Sure, go get us some water and I'll set the console up. Did you bring BioShock 2?"

"Man, I completely forgot. Sorry." Alex smiled apologetically as he stood and made for the kitchen.

"Resident Evil 5 instead then?"

"Works for me."

Alex's odd temper continued, and he neglected to gloat at the zombies they shot up the way he usually did. Chris didn't think too much of it though, and some two hours passed in comparative quiet, apart from the sound effects of the game. Eventually Alex put his controller aside, and Chris assumed their gaming session was done. He noticed suddenly how hungry he was and remembered that he hadn't had lunch yet. He wondered if Alex felt like a trip to McDonalds.

Alex leaned back in the armchair. "Can I ask a favour?"

Chris raised an eyebrow. It wasn't like Alex to actually ask Chris for anything. Normally he simply took whatever he was after, blindly assuming that Chris would be okay with it. "Shoot."

"Can I store some stuff here for a while? Me and Julie broke up." Alex picked at the thread in his jeans again, refusing to look up.

"Seriously?" Chris sat up in surprise. "What happened?"

Alex slouched back a little more. "Eh, she'd had enough of me not being there, and not paying attention even when I was. The usual."

"Sorry, man." Chris didn't know what else to say. He'd never seen Julie as a particularly long-term prospect for Alex, but he wouldn't have guessed they'd break up at this point; things seemed to be going so well for them. On the other hand, most of Alex's relationships fell apart when they seemed to be going well.

Smoothing the thread down against the seam, Alex made an effort to look up. "It's okay, I'm not really broken up about it. Except that now I have to find an apartment and somewhere to keep my shit in the meantime. And do my own laundry."

Chris couldn't decide whether or not to believe Alex's declaration of indifference. "You usually move back in with your parents when your girlfriends throw you out. What gives?"

"Mom turned my room into an office." Alex sounded so offended, Chris couldn't help but laugh. "An _office_. If it was a games room I could understand, but an office?"

"Do you think maybe 27 is old enough for you to stand on your own two feet?" Chris asked with a smile.

Alex scowled. "That's what Mom said. Don't you people know I'm doing my best not to grow up even a little bit? I'm nowhere near mature enough to be trusted with a house of my own."

"That's probably true. So wait, where are you going to be staying till you find an apartment?"

"I figure I'll just stay in a motel. I don't need much room, and it's only temporary."

Chris shook his head. "That's stupid. You know you can stay here."

Alex looked uncomfortable. "It's nice of you to offer, but I'm kind of annoying. You've probably noticed. I'm sure the only reason you can stand to be around me when we're on the road is because you get time away from me when we're not, and I don't want to piss you off."

"Do you honestly think you're less annoying in small doses? Because I've got to tell you, that's not the case." Chris shrugged. "Anyway, if you piss me off I'll put you in time out in the garage."

Alex grinned. "You really would do that, wouldn't you?"

"Too fucking right I would, I've known you too long not to have a back-up plan." Chris reached over and nudged Alex's leg. "So you're staying here, right?"

"If you're positive it won't be a problem..." Alex said hesitantly.

"Of course it won't be a problem. I'll always have room for you here, dimwit."

"Thanks, man, I appreciate it." Alex favoured Chris with a broad smile. "So, you wanna show me this song idea of yours?"

Chris rose to fetch his guitar, already plotting out the adjustments he'd need to make to his lifestyle if Alex was going to be staying in his house.

* * *

"Can we go home now?"

Chris grinned. "No."

There was a pause of around ten seconds before Alex spoke again. "How about now?"

"No. Man, we only just got the tent up."

"I know, and it sucks. It's tiny, there's nowhere near enough room in there for me, let alone for both of us."

Chris shrugged. "The smaller the tent, the less grief it is to carry. It's fine, honestly."

"For _you_, maybe," Alex said grumpily.

Throwing one arm around Alex's shoulders, Chris gestured around them with the other. "Come on, man, look at all this. It's going to be great. Don't write it off before we even start, huh?"

Alex sighed, reminding himself that Chris had been really looking forward to this stupid camping trip, and that it would be unfair of him to spoil it by being a sulky little fuck. "Fine. I'll try to have a good time."

"And tomorrow we're going fishing, remember?"

"I do like fishing," Alex admitted. "Okay, what are we doing tonight?"

"Nothing really, just hanging out and enjoying the scenery. We can play frisbee if you like?"

"Nah, can't be bothered." Alex pulled a blanket from his pack and laid it on the ground. "I think I'm gonna relax right here and try to adjust." Alex sank onto the blanket, pulling his shirt off and tossing it aside before sprawling on his back. "If you happened to bring some of nature's finest along with you, I dare say that might help ease the transition."

"Why, Mr. Shelley, I'm offended by the very suggestion that I might ever partake in the consumption of an illegal substance." Chris produced a tin from his pack and threw it at Alex. "You roll. And shift over."

Alex obediently made room on the blanket and set about rolling a joint, while Chris divested himself of his own shirt, dumping it with Alex's. The next few hours were lazily spent smoking intermittently and chatting, while Chris occasionally extolled the virtues of being outdoors on this hazy summer evening and Alex didn't care.

Eventually the conversation began to stall. The sun was finally starting to set, and Alex was staring up at the increasingly orange sky, taking the first drag on the joint Chris had just rolled. As he exhaled blissfully, he became aware of Chris sniggering. He ignored it to begin with, but within a minute Chris had progressed to giggling.

"Alright, what's so funny?" Alex demanded.

It took Chris a little while to get himself sufficiently under control to reply. "You have the smallest nipples in the whole universe," he said finally, and dissolved into giggles again.

Alex brought his free arm up to cover his chest protectively. "Man, lay off my nipples. They're not _small_, they're just... modest. Unassuming." He glared at Chris. "Anyway, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, you're in no position to comment on anyone else's nipples. You have girl's nipples, to go with your fucking girly giggling."

Chris seemed to think the feminine state of his own nipples was even funnier than the compact state of Alex's, and Alex was convinced the noise he made for the next five minutes made certain no wild animals would be approaching their camp that night. It took a while, but Chris' howls of laughter gradually turned back into giggles, and from there to sniggers before finally subsiding, leaving Chris breathing heavily.

"They're really sensitive, actually," Chris admitted with a smile, and an image marched across Alex's brain of himself twiddling Chris' nipples with one ear to his chest like a safe cracker. He blinked at Chris twice before bursting into helpless laughter while Chris chuckled at his amusement.

Alex managed to think straight enough to hand the joint off to Chris to make sure he didn't burn himself, and he let his laughter run its course. It was dying down when, in a flash, the image in his head changed. Suddenly his open lips were latched over Chris' nipple, his tongue rolling over it while Chris moaned breathlessly, his hand on the back of Alex's head. Alex continued to laugh, but it sounded uncomfortable and disingenuous in his ears.

"You're a fucking retard," Chris said, and Alex smiled to mask his disorientation. He watched Chris smoking, shaking his head slightly from time to time as though he believed he could dislodge some of his unnerving thoughts.

Alex didn't sleep too badly that night, although he suspected that was due in large part to the weed. Around the time dawn was breaking, he woke up needing to piss, so he shoved away the arm Chris had draped over him and crawled out of the tent to see to his need. As he clambered back inside, he resented the lack of space; if he and Chris both lay on their backs, their shoulders touched the sides of the tent, and the accumulated body heat was suffocating.

He crawled onto his sleeping bag - both he and Chris had agreed it was far too hot to sleep inside them, instead laying them over their bedrolls so their skin didn't stick uncomfortably to the thin mats - and curled up on his side, facing away from Chris. Chris immediately rolled over in his sleep and threw an arm around Alex's waist, the hard muscle of his naked chest pressed tight to Alex's bare back. Despite the cloying heat, Alex didn't shrug him away.

* * *

Although Chris had no objection to fishing, he wasn't wildly fond of it either. It involved a bit too much sitting around for his taste; he'd rather be doing something more active. Alex really liked fishing though - probably precisely because it gave him an excuse to be lazy, Chris thought - so Chris had scheduled it for their first full day in the great outdoors.

He glanced sideways at Alex. He couldn't quite figure out Alex's mood today. When he'd awoken that morning he'd found Alex already outside the tent, staring into space with a joint in his hand. Chris hadn't intended for them to break out the weed so early on, or for them to smoke so much of it, but given that Alex had just broken up with Julie, Chris wasn't about to begrudge him a little herbal comfort. He looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders and Chris wished he could help him with it, but he knew this was one burden Alex would have to carry alone.

Alex had been up and down all day, bright and talkative one moment, pensive and brooding the next. Chris watched him staring at the lake in deep thought, and figured maybe it would help him to talk about it.

"Thinking about Julie?" he ventured, and Alex jumped as though he'd forgotten anyone else was even there.

"Huh? Oh. No." He smiled at Chris in reassurance. "I'm okay with the breakup, seriously, it's a logistical hassle, is all. I think Julie and I were never really suited to each other, we were too different."

Chris nodded. "I never thought you two were all that compatible either."

Alex reached over and shoved him. "And you didn't think to tell me this before I took the major step of moving in with her?"

"Dude, you move in with everybody," Chris said reasonably, and Alex laughed. It sounded alien and Chris realised with some surprise that it was the first time Alex had laughed all day.

"I do, don't I?" Alex sobered slightly. "I really do. I wonder why that is. Wonder what I'm looking for."

"I think you just like having some mug to pick up after you, and a guaranteed fuck when you get home."

"Well, okay, that part _is_ nice," Alex agreed, smiling wolfishly.

"Look, I don't mind picking up after you from time to time," Chris said with a grin, "but if you come anywhere near me with that thing we're officially no longer BFFs." He gestured vaguely at Alex's crotch as he spoke.

Alex pulled a face. "Please, man. I admit the work you've put in on your moobs is impressive, but you're still going to have to do a lot better than that if you want to get anywhere with me."

Chris pushed his arms together around his chest to create a cleavage, pouting as he posed, and Alex pondered the likelihood of Chris throwing him out of the house if he pushed Chris in the lake. In the end, he opted to ignore him instead, and since it was no fun if Alex wasn't reacting, Chris went back to watching his rod. Alex managed to be quiet for about three minutes before piping up again.

"Man, I wish I hadn't let you talk me into leaving my phone at home. I wonder what's happening in the real world."

Chris smiled. "You really suck at this outdoor thing, you know that? What's the point of going off to spend some time in the welcoming bosom of Mother Nature if you go and bring a ton of technology with you?"

"What if something happens while we're gone?" Alex countered. "What if, like, Petey's died or something?"

"Then I'm sure he'll probably still be dead when we get back," Chris said patiently. "And if he's not, we'll have had an extra week of life out here before our brains get eaten."

"Petey would make a really crappy zombie. He'd go off at a tangent and forget what he was doing. The rest of the horde would be at the mall, doing impressions of you at McDonalds, and Petey would be too busy making sure nobody ran on the escalators to join in any brain eating. Sonjay would be awesome though."

Chris grinned. "Oh yeah, he'd be amazing. He'd be the one who really enjoys it, the one with bits of brain and skull fragments spread all over his face."

"What about Lethal?"

Chris scratched his chin thoughtfully. "He'd suck. He'd be the zombie that got trampled by the other zombies."

Alex seemed far more relaxed for the rest of the day, as if that one laugh was all he needed to open the floodgates, although Chris suspected it was something else entirely that had changed his disposition. He stopped moaning about the insects, and he didn't even complain about the lack of space in the tent that night, although once again he was outside when Chris awoke in the morning. Chris supposed he must have been telling the truth about the breakup with Julie not bothering him too much, and he was relieved to see Alex starting to loosen up and enjoy their little vacation. He hoped Alex's good mood continued once it was over and they returned to their normal lives.


	2. Part 2

Chris lethargically shoved his plate onto the coffee table and slouched back on the sofa. Alex was a halfway decent cook (which was more than could be said for Chris), and he liked doing it, so Chris had enjoyed some nice meals since Alex had come to stay. South Park blared on the TV, and all in all it was a very enjoyable evening.

Having Alex around all the time was proving to be a lot more comfortable than Chris had envisioned. It meant he always had a gaming partner and someone to watch tapes with, but Alex was also mostly pretty good at figuring out when Chris needed some quiet and relaxation instead. On the occasions when he didn't notice, Chris would yell at him to shut the fuck up, and Alex would grin apologetically before wandering off to find something to amuse himself with. When Alex moved out, Chris was actually going to miss being woken up in the middle of the night by Alex clattering around his living room. In some ways, it was a lot like having an extra cat, just one that talked too much and kept beating him at Unreal Tournament III.

One of the nice things about having Alex in the house was that he was always so upbeat, despite how much of an asshole he was to the general public. Chris was a positive kind of guy himself, but Alex spent half his life acting like a seven-year-old on Christmas Day. It was hard to believe he'd just broken up with a long-term girlfriend given how perky he was, but Alex insisted he was perfectly happy with his romantic situation, or lack thereof. When Chris had asked him about it, he'd said that the things he wanted were impossible, and that he'd accepted that, and reavowed his contentment. It all sounded a bit cryptic and questionable to Chris, but he wasn't going to press the issue.

Alex rose to take their plates out to the kitchen, and Chris grunted his appreciation. He'd been surprised at how much Alex was chipping in around the house, but he assumed Alex was on his best behaviour, trying not to annoy him. No sooner had Alex left the room than the phone rang, and Chris forced himself to sit up and reach for it.

When Alex returned, drying his hands, Chris was idly turning the TV remote around in his fingers.

"Gee, you look cheerful," Alex said, with a smile to soften his sarcasm.

"You remember all those maybes?" Chris looked up through his eyelashes. "It turns out they weren't just maybes after all."

Alex turned this over in his head as he sat down. "Are you sure?"

"They just called. They're very sorry, but they have nothing planned for us right now." Chris smiled wryly. "They hope we understand it was purely a business decision and that the door is open in the future, should an appropriate angle come up."

"Motherfuckers." Chris expected an angry, expletive-laden tirade, but Alex barely missed a step. "Well, I have money in the bank, so we're not going to starve while we reestablish ourselves on the indy scene. I'll get Scott to start sending out some feelers, see who might be interested in booking us. On the plus side, we get longer matches in indy promotions, and tag team wrestling is more respected there."

"You don't owe me anything, Alex," Chris said gently. "Don't turn down a singles booking because you're hoping you can find something for both of us."

Alex raised an eyebrow. "It's not a question of owing you anything. I like wrestling with you, plain and simple. I'm not going to shoot myself in the foot, but I'm sure as hell going to seek out shows for us as a team first."

Chris threw the remote aside. "If nothing else good comes of this, at least it'll be nice to be the Murder City Machine Guns again."

"Man, tell me about it. And I hated having to remember not to swear."

"Yeah, you're not really a PG language kind of guy." Chris grinned. "You'll be doing a lot more Skullfucking, too."

Alex scratched thoughtfully at his stubble. "I wonder if New Japan would be interested in booking us for a couple of tours?"

"I hope so. ZERO1 would probably take us on again too." Chris looked Alex over appraisingly. "I've got to say, you almost seem relieved by all this."

"Aren't you?" Alex lounged back against the arm of the sofa. "We knew this was going to happen, and we've just been waiting for it, worrying about what we'd do when it finally went down. Now that it actually has, we can get on with sorting things out. I'm good at this part."

"Aw, man!" Chris sat up straighter as realisation dawned.

"What?"

"Now when I go back to wXw, I'll be over." The disappointment on Chris' face was almost comical. "I really enjoyed annoying the shit out of those fans."

Alex grinned. "It showed. I've never seen you get so much heat."

"And all I had to do to get it was get paid regularly. Easiest heat ever. I was going to add a bad Hulk Hogan impression to my bad Jeff Jarrett impression next time, too."

"Your Jeff Jarrett impression is terrible," Alex agreed, and then he sobered a little. "I wonder how Uncle Jeff feels about this."

Chris shrugged. "We're never likely to find out. It makes no difference now anyway."

"I guess not. Well, I'm gonna call Scott, see if he has anything for us anytime soon." Alex scratched at his chin thoughtfully. "They might already have called him, so he could already be on it."

"I'm going to leave you to it, I'm off to bed." Chris stretched as he stood, wincing when his shoulders cracked. "If I sleep on it, maybe I'll wake up with a better idea of where to go from here."

Alex nodded. "Hell, by the time you get up, I might have mapped the next six months of your career out for you."

"That'd save me having to do it." Chris retreated to his bedroom, and before he'd even climbed into bed he could hear Alex talking with his usual disregard for how his volume might affect Chris' ability to sleep. Chris found it oddly relaxing.

* * *

Alex sat on the bench while Chris tied the laces on his sneakers. "So, how's it feel to be back?"

"This isn't exactly massively different for us, we worked here anyway." Chris smiled, remembering the rapturous reception the PWG fans had given them. "Reseda loves us though."

"Of course it does, have you seen us? We're fantastic."

"You raise an excellent point." Chris straightened, taking a moment to fiddle with his hair. "Shall we head for the bar and see if the ladies are aware of how fantastic we are?"

"Good call." Alex clapped a hand on Chris' shoulder as they made their way through to the main hall. A good portion of the fans had already left, and about half of those remaining were clustered around Colt Cabana, who was using them as a test audience for some of his new stand-up material. Joey Ryan was putting the moves on a pretty blonde, and Excalibur and El Generico were engaged in a tango around the ring. Aware that they'd be forced to dance if Excalibur and El Generico accosted them before they'd got drinks in their hands, Chris and Alex stuck to the outside of the room while they headed for the bar.

A few minutes later, they were lounging against the bar, beer in hand, watching the argument that had started when Kevin Steen had tried to cut in on El Generico. "It's going to be nice to work here more often," Chris said. "I love the guys we worked with at TNA - well okay, _most_ of them - but I always wished I had more chance to hang out with these guys. They're all wrong in the head."

"Truer words, my friend." Alex raised his bottle in a mock toast. "All the best people are wrong in the head. It's what makes us interesting." A fan took a purposeful step in their direction, but he veered away hurriedly when Alex scowled at him.

"I thought that was our sharp wit and dashing good looks?"

"That too." Alex gestured discreetly at a busty girl sitting halfway across the room, nursing a drink while she played around with her cellphone. "There's that chick who was watching me non-stop during our match."

"You were wrestling, you fool, she was _supposed_ to be watching you." Chris glanced over to see who Alex meant, and he stood a little straighter, although he winced when he put his weight on his right leg. He didn't think it was anything too serious, but it damn well hurt. "Anyway, I think you'll find she was looking at me."

"She was not, you cockblocking bastard. And I saw her first."

"Dude, you can't call dibs on women anymore. It's sexist, or something."

Alex glared. "You didn't seem to think so the last time we were at the Impact Zone."

"Yes, well, then it worked in my favour." Chris looked at the girl thoughtfully. "Maybe she was watching both of us."

Alex was silent for a moment, and Chris assumed he was assessing the suggestion implicit in what had just been said. "Maybe she was," Alex said finally. "Do you think she'd go for it?"

Chris elected not to answer the question, looking at Alex as though he'd just suggested they join Facebook.

"Okay, stupid question, " Alex admitted. "I guess if we got one each, we'd have to pay for two cab rides home from the hotel."

"We have to economise now that we don't have regular paychecks," Chris agreed. "Besides, I'm not passing up a girl with tits like that just because you saw her first, and I get the impression you're not about to hand her over."

"Now who's being sexist?"

"Look, do you want to double up on that fine piece of ass or what?"

Alex grinned, and Chris waved the bartender over to find out what the object of their lust was drinking. He ordered drinks for the three of them, and while they were being served, he and Alex passed the time by arguing over who got which end first.

* * *

Chris looked inordinately pleased with himself. As the feedback from the amp died down, Alex sat forward, his chin resting on his hands and his elbows on his knees.

"Play it again. I think I'm getting some ideas for lyrics."

Chris obediently started playing again, pleased that Alex seemed to like the song fragment that had come to him as much as he himself did. It wasn't very long, and it would probably end up being a chorus - which meant they were going to have to come up with verses to accompany it along with various other segments, but he could play it for the rest of the guys when they got together to practice and hopefully one of them would come up with something. Alex stared with such focus at his fingers as they danced along the fretboard that Chris wasn't sure he was seeing them at all, and Chris wondered what kind of lyrics Alex was toying with. He couldn't think of even a vague topic that seemed to fit with the hook he was so taken with, but Alex had always had a gift for that kind of thing.

"So what do you think?" he asked when he reached the end of the chorus again. "Is it workable?"

"I think so, yeah." Alex rubbed at the back of his neck while the cogs in his head turned. It was a gesture he used a lot, but Chris got the odd impression that he was doing it to avoid meeting his eyes. He'd been doing that from time to time lately, and Chris couldn't for the life of him figure out why. "When we get together with the guys, I'm pretty sure we can work that into a full track. It's the kind of thing Adam in particular will be all over."

"I thought that too." Chris tugged the power cord from the guitar so that they could continue to talk while he worked on variations. "I'm not sure about the E flat in the second phrase."

"No, it's fine, it just needs..." Alex grasped for the right words. "I know how it should sound, but I'm not sure how to explain it."

Chris grinned. "We should think about giving you a firmer grip on theory so you can communicate these things."

"You're probably right. Play it acoustic for me."

Chris obliged, and again Alex watched his hand intently. A few seconds before he finished, Alex was on his feet.

"I'll be right back."

Chris opened his mouth to respond, but Alex was gone before he had a chance to speak. Laying the guitar aside, he went through to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and pain shot through his right knee sharply enough to make him stumble. He was pretty sure he'd just tweaked it at the PWG show and put a strain on the ligaments rather than actually injuring it, but it was driving him crazy.

He filled his glass and drank the contents, and then half filled it again. Taking it with him into the living room, he set it down on the table and headed off upstairs to get some painkillers. He took the stairs gingerly, trying not to set the pain off again, and he thought wryly that if his mother was here, she'd be making sarcastic remarks about how this was the quietest he'd ever taken a flight of stairs in his life.

Crossing the upstairs landing, his knee was flooded with pain again, and he clutched at the doorframe of the spare room - or Alex's room, now - to steady himself. He paused, carefully extending and bending his leg a couple of times to make sure it was working properly. The door was slightly ajar, and he could hear Alex's voice floating out from within. He assumed Alex was on the phone with somebody, and he tried not to listen in, but it was impossible not to hear.

"I don't know, I just... it's not..."

Alex's voice was strained, and Chris was surprised to hear it. Despite being so expressive, Alex rarely betrayed much real emotion, and certainly not vulnerability.

"It's not what I thought. I just want to come home."

He had to be talking to Julie, and Chris was even more surprised by that. In the weeks Alex had spent in his house, Chris had seen no signs of Alex missing her even a little. In fact, he'd pretty much forgotten that Alex had recently been through a breakup at all.

"I don't know. After we broke up, I knew I couldn't have what I wanted, and I handled it. But then it turned out that maybe I could have it after all, and I just don't know. I don't know what to do. I don't want to deal with this anymore, I want to come home. I want things to be like they were before."

Chris hated to hear the pain in Alex's voice, not least because he'd had no idea Alex was having such a hard time. Alex wasn't at all the kind of guy to fall apart over nothing, and if things were rough for him, Chris felt very strongly that it was his duty to support him.

"No, I know that, I..." In five words, Alex's voice changed from upset to argumentative, and then Chris heard him take a deep breath to steady himself. When he spoke again, his voice was perfectly level, and Chris knew him well enough to know that he didn't give a shit about what he was saying. "You're absolutely right, we made the decision and we should stick to it."

Chris realised abruptly that he was actively eavesdropping, and he ignored the protests from his knee as he limped ashamedly into his bathroom, closing the door quietly behind him. He rummaged around in his medicine cabinet for some appropriate pills, and then he sat on the edge of his bath, taking a quiet moment to try to absorb what he'd heard.

He couldn't understand it. He really hadn't thought Alex was that good an actor, but it was beyond him why Alex would hide this from him anyway. He knew Alex trusted him, so it made no sense at all for him to be concealing what was evidently a pretty big problem. Alex had never crawled back to a girlfriend in his life. As Chris thought about it, he realised that although Alex had shown no signs of missing Julie, he had been a bit withdrawn lately. In fact, he'd been a little bit subdued ever since they'd come back from California.

Despite his concern, Chris smiled as he recalled their colourful night after the PWG show. They and their new acquaintance had spent a fair amount of time drinking before they'd headed back to the hotel, enough that Chris was half surprised he and Alex had been able to perform at all, and the whole night was a blur. Fragments of it would still fight their way out of the black hole of his drunken memory, but a lot of it was lost to him. He remembered enough to know they'd had a damn good time though; maybe next time they were in Reseda, they'd hook up with the same girl again. Chris had been through enough rats that he was long past the stage where he constantly wanted someone new. Sometimes it was a better option to go where you knew the goods were up to scratch.

He remembered running his eyes up the length of her back while he mounted her, thinking how smooth her skin was as she bent to take Alex's erection between her lips. She'd shifted, and Chris nearly went off the bed; he'd lurched forward and grabbed at Alex's thigh to maintain his balance, since Alex, sitting on the pillows with his back against the wall, was the only one of the drunken trio with any stability. He remembered staring at the back of her head, seeing Alex's hands holding it in place while he thrust hard into her mouth, and she took it like a trooper.

Chris had driven into her over and over, distantly aware of the muscle in Alex's thigh tensing and relaxing under his hand as Alex fucked her mouth. He'd seen Alex's hands tighten into fists in her hair, and his eyes had swept up Alex's body, the sheen of sweat making his chest and shoulders glisten in the low lamplight. Alex's mouth had fallen open, his cheeks flushed and his eyes hazy with lust as they locked on Chris', and barely a moment later a choked moan had escaped from his lips, turning into an awed, "Fuck..." as he came into their partner's eager mouth.

Chris stopped dead. Alex hadn't been looking at the rat when he came; he'd been staring straight at Chris, as though she wasn't even there. More disturbing still, Chris realised, he himself had deliberately watched Alex cum. He'd had plenty of time to look away, or simply close his eyes, but he'd done neither. He'd watched Alex orgasm and he'd fucked the woman between them harder, and although he couldn't remember it, he knew his own climax had followed swiftly. Even now, he could feel his cock beginning to respond slowly to his memory of the desire on Alex's face.

Letting the small bottle of pills fall from his fingers, Chris sank to the floor, burying his face in his hands. How long had he felt this way? And how could he have hidden this from himself? More importantly, he wondered how much Alex remembered.

_"I knew I couldn't have what I wanted, and I handled it. But then it turned out that maybe I could have it after all..."_

Had Alex already known he had feelings for Chris before they even went to California? How long had he been carrying this around? It must have been torture.

Maybe it was just sex. Chris shook his head absently, dismissing that idea as soon as it came into his head. Alex was his closest friend, and the one person he allowed himself to rely on, and he knew he filled the same role for Alex. If there was some kind of sexual heat between them, and there evidently was, then there was no way they could disentangle it from the strong feelings they already had for each other.

He heard Alex's bedroom door close, and the rapid thumps as Alex took the stairs in typical boisterous fashion, as though he hadn't been begging his ex-girlfriend to take him back just moments before. The only thing Chris knew for sure at this point was that he was hiding in this damn bathroom for as long as he could get away with before Alex started thinking there was something wrong with him.


	3. Part 3

Chris sat on the floor with his back against the side of the sofa, bouncing a tennis ball against the wall next to the kitchen door. "I'm so fucking bored."

Alex looked up from his drawing and grinned. "Didn't they tell you in school that only boring people get bored?"

"Yes," Chris replied with a glare, "and it was bullshit then too." He sighed dramatically and stopped throwing the ball, instead passing it from hand to hand. After a few minutes he announced, "Still bored."

"That's nice," Alex said absently, concentrating intently on the paper before him.

Chris hauled himself to his feet, tossing the ball onto the sofa, and went over to investigate Alex's picture. "What're you drawing?"

"It's us." Alex pulled his hand away to allow Chris an unobstructed view. "Well, us if we were half terminator, half samurai."

Chris couldn't help noticing that Alex had put a lot more work into Chris' image than he had into his own. It looked to him like a somewhat idealised version, but Chris had to admit that aside from the various guns and blades mounted on his flesh, it was a pretty good likeness. "Man, that'd be sweet. Can you draw Petey as our sidekick?"

"Already on it. And Jay and Austin will be the hapless villains who suffer a humiliating and crushing defeat at our hands. Talons, whatever."

"Is there a reason why Christy Hemme's sitting at our feet in a peep-hole bra?" Chris asked with a grin.

Alex shrugged. "It's Christy Hemme in a peep-hole bra. Does there _have_ to be a reason?"

"I guess not." It was a great picture, but the proportions and focus made it clear that its main purpose was to give Alex an excuse to draw Chris.

"I should probably stop for a while now anyway, I'm getting cramp in my hand." Alex nudged Chris with his elbow. "I've been working on a new leg submission. Want to give it a test run with me?"

Chris instinctively opened his mouth to agree, but before he started to speak it occurred to him that it might not be such a good idea. It was one thing in the ring, but the thought of being tangled up with Alex in the privacy of his living room left Chris pretty sure that his mind would wander away from wrestling and into more personal territory. As he contemplated having Alex's strong legs wrapped around his own, he could have sworn he could already feel their warmth through his pants.

"I'd better not," he said finally. "My knee's still not back up to par, and I don't want to make it any worse again."

Alex accepted the excuse without questioning it, although Chris knew Alex could always tell when he wasn't being completely honest. "Okay. What do you want to do then?"

"Actually, I think I'm gonna go for a leisurely walk. Make sure I don't give my knee the chance to stiffen up or anything." Chris smiled in an attempt to obscure his awkwardness.

"Alright. I guess I'll work through this cramp and finish this picture then." Alex bent back to his drawing. He didn't show anything other than vague puzzlement at Chris' avoidance, but Chris knew he'd get a lot more concerned in the near future if Chris didn't learn to hide his dishonesty.

* * *

Chris lay full length on his sofa, his eyes closed while he concentrated intently on the music. Part one of Hergest Ridge was playing, and while he'd always liked the album, now it seemed to encapsulate perfectly how he felt about Alex - which was ridiculous, because it was about a damn hill. Chris had always wanted to visit Hergest Ridge, because despite his love of certain technologies, he was always going to be an unrelenting hippy at heart.

It was nice to let the music soothe him; Chris felt almost as if he was floating on it (although he conceded that could have been because of the two joints he'd smoked while he was listening to The Wall. He was feeling very 1970s today), and it was a relief to be free of the tension that had practically become a permanent part of his household over the last few weeks. Then he heard the front door opening, and all his anxieties and frustration returned.

He swung himself around into a seated position, carefully schooling his features into a mask of contentment and relaxation. The front door closed and Alex's head appeared around the doorframe, looking as upbeat as ever. Alex was pretty skilled with masks too, Chris thought.

"Hey, man, do you want me to go straight upstairs? I have plenty I can occupy myself with if you're enjoying the solitude."

Chris shook his head, and he actually meant it. Alex had been doing that a lot, removing himself from Chris' company deliberately. Chris didn't know whether it was because Alex was uncomfortable around him right now, or because Chris' own discomfort was making Alex feel unwelcome. He suspected it was the latter, and he hated that his disquiet with his own feelings was having a negative impact on Alex. "No, come on in and sit down. You live here too, you know."

Alex grinned, shrugging out of his leather jacket and throwing it onto the back of the sofa before he slumped into the armchair. "Mom says hi, and wants to know when you're coming over to visit. She says her fake son is much nicer than her real ones."

"Aw, that's sweet!" Chris smiled at the glare Alex shot him. "Okay, not so much for you, but she's never had to take me to the emergency room at 4am because I had Lego stuck up my nose."

"That could have happened to anyone," Alex defended. "Most boys do something like that."

"True, but I don't think it helped that you were seventeen at the time."

"That fucking hurt. I'm just grateful it was one of the twos. If it had been an eight, my face would probably still be misshapen now."

"Your face is misshapen anyway," Chris said. He wasn't going to let a little thing like unacknowledged romantic urges get in the way of a good bicker.

"Hey, my face was put together by the best in their field."

"Dali was the best in his field too, but I wouldn't want him designing my face."

Alex sat forward. "I saw an actual Dali clock in a store today. Like, I don't know who made it but it was all melty. It was awesome."

"Man, you should have bought it. I'd have been more than happy to have that on the wall."

Alex looked briefly surprised, and Chris realised with some annoyance that it was because Chris was making him feel like he actually belonged there. He could happily have kicked himself for having made Alex feel like an intruder lately. Alex banished the expression from his face almost as quickly as it had arrived though. "Maybe I'll pick it up when I pass that place next. It was pretty cool. Anyway, do you want me to cook tonight?"

"If you want to, absolutely." Chris had been missing the hot meals. Alex had been eating out a lot, and he didn't really think the microwave dinners and noodles he'd been making for himself qualified as proper meals. "What do you feel like making?"

"Dunno. Let's go have a look in the cupboards."

It was quite lame, Chris thought, that deciding what to have for dinner felt like it qualified as spending time together now. He pulled himself to his feet and followed Alex into the kitchen, where Alex went straight for the fridge.

"I've never understood how you can look at all this unconnected stuff and see a meal in it," Chris said, pulling open a cupboard. "The only way I could make a meal out of this lot would be to call the pizza place and shove them on top when it got here."

Alex laughed. "Well, I can't figure out how to take a bath without getting my big toe stuck in the faucet at least once, so I guess we each have our individual skill sets."

Chris smiled, although it faded when he felt Alex's body heat behind him. It shouldn't have bothered him; not so very long ago, Alex would have had his chin resting on Chris' shoulder while he surveyed the cupboard's contents, and neither one of them would have thought anything of it. Now, Chris could feel Alex's breath against the back of his neck, and he had to close his eyes and concentrate on ignoring the desire to lean back against the hard, muscled chest behind him.

"Huh." Alex reached over Chris' shoulder to push a bag of pasta aside. "I was thinking risotto, but we're about out of rice."

Chris seized gratefully on the excuse, ducking away from his position between Alex and the cupboard. "I'll go get some."

"It doesn't matter, I can make something else," Alex began, but Chris waved a hand to cut him off.

"No, no, it'll only take a couple of minutes, I'll be right back."

Chris practically fled the kitchen, awash with guilt. Alex wasn't stupid, and he knew Chris was distancing himself again; Chris had seen the hurt in his expression before Alex had reigned it in, but he just couldn't be around Alex without getting more confused and lost. If he could do this much damage within a few weeks, he was going to have to get a grip on his feelings, or there wouldn't be much left of their friendship.

* * *

Chris stood the last plate in the drainer and took up the wet dishcloth to wipe down the countertops and table. Washing the dishes had become a far smaller chore recently, since nobody ever cooked.

The house was awfully quiet. If he'd been alone, Chris would have put some music on to keep him company while he worked, but Alex was home. He wasn't there often anymore, and even when he was, he was usually upstairs. Chris missed him greatly, so when Alex was in the house, Chris would keep quiet and listen to him moving about. He would never have believed he could be so lonely with Alex living in his home.

Alex had just finished his shower; Chris had heard the water shut off. That meant he'd probably be leaving again soon. Chris wanted to ask him to stay home, to spend some time with him, but he knew it would end up being uncomfortable again, and he couldn't bear to watch Alex mourning the loss of their dissolving friendship and trying not to show it.

Chris dropped the dishcloth in the sink and let the water out, and dried his hands on the kitchen towel. He sank into a chair with a sigh, planting his elbows on the wet table and resting his chin in his hands. He wasn't sure quite how things had degenerated to this point, but he knew it was his fault. Despite dealing with the aftermath of a break-up, losing his job, discovering awakening feelings for his best friend and now the slow death of their friendship, all on top of his general antipathy towards the world, Alex had been nothing but cordial. Chris was ashamed of his inability to extend the same courtesy in return.

He heard footsteps on the stairs, and Chris unconsciously sat up straighter. The few moments Alex spent in his presence had become both the best and worst part of his day. He arranged a smile on his face, but when Alex came into view, he no longer had the presence of mind to maintain it.

Drops of water worked their way from Alex's hairline down to his throat, gliding down his cheekbones and chin on the way. His wet skin shone as the light glanced off his chest and shoulders, but Chris' real problem was with the towel slung so low on Alex's hips, Chris wasn't sure if what he was seeing still qualified as 'torso' or was officially 'groin'. His abdomen looked so enticing, twisting as he walked, rivulets of water sliding down it to be absorbed by the towel. The only thing Chris could think about was his desire to press his lips to that tempting skin, to run his tongue over it and lap up the water while he tugged the towel away, leaving Alex's body naked and exposed to the reverent touches of his hands and mouth.

Alex smiled apologetically. "Just came down to get a glass of water."

_You don't have to give an excuse for entering the room,_ Chris wanted to say, but he was incapable of doing anything besides stare at the near-naked man before him - one he'd seen so many times before in this state, but who had only recently begun to affect him in this way. He couldn't remember ever having been rendered literally speechless by anyone before.

"I'm going to pick up some more toiletries while I'm out," Alex continued. "We're almost out of shower gel, and I ran out of deodorant so I'm going to have to borrow yours."

Chris said nothing, still staring helplessly at the contours of Alex's body.

"Man, are you okay?" Alex's brows drew down in concern.

Chris snapped his gaze up to Alex's face. "Of course," he said tersely, but he was too busy trying to drag air through his throat to further the conversation in any way.

"Is there anything else you want me to pick up?" Alex asked, turning his back on Chris and moving toward the dish drainer. It didn't help Chris' urgent desire any. The beginning of the curve of Alex's ass was visible above the towel; Chris longed to lay his palms against that curve, and allow his hands to slide down to grip the firm cheeks whose shape could still be clearly discerned despite the thick fabric over them. He closed his eyes against the sight but that only made things worse, because behind his eyelids that delicious ass was pressing against his groin while Alex's heated voice demanded Chris ease inside him. It drove him insane to think that if he acted on this urge, that could well be precisely what happened. This wasn't some distant daydream, and that was exactly why it scared Chris so badly.

Chris opened his eyes again to escape the erotic vision his brain was tormenting him with, just in time to see Alex pick up a glass from the drainer. Still wet, it slipped through Alex's fingers and smashed on the linoleum floor.

"Fuck!" Alex exclaimed, stepping back slowly in an effort to avoid any glass shards. Chris was out of his seat before he'd even made a conscious decision to move, immediately crouching on his heels next to Alex, aiming to collect up the glass before Alex got hurt. He picked up the biggest piece of glass, laying it carefully in the palm of his hand.

"Sorry, dude," Alex mumbled.

"Don't worry about it," Chris replied, his tone still clipped and frosty as he strained to keep his desire out of it. He willed himself desperately to ignore Alex's well-muscled calves, so close he would barely have had to move in order to lean over and kiss them.

Alex crouched down alongside him, joining him in picking up the glass. "I've been a fucking clumsy prick all day. I don't know what's wrong with me." Though still tied securely around his hips, much of the towel was pulled open by Alex's legs.

"Forget it." Chris couldn't look away from the expanse of inner thigh exposed to his view, and he felt like his blood was pounding in his head as he struggled to keep some semblance of control. He wanted so badly to push Alex to the floor, to tear that teasing towel from him and to take him right there on the cold linoleum. The thought of Alex gasping with pleasure beneath him was so visceral and so tempting, his hand was halfway to Alex's thigh before he realised what he was doing.

Chris hurriedly snatched his hand back before it could make contact. "Just leave it, Alex," he snapped, and Alex flinched back in surprise at the harshness in his voice. Without another word, Alex carefully laid the small handful of glass pieces he'd collected in a pile on the floor and retreated upstairs, leaving Chris alone with his misery.

* * *

Chris rested his head against the window, staring out at the ocean far below. Germany had been nice, but he was relieved to be on his way home. He'd accepted the last minute booking without hesitation; Roderick Strong had pulled out of a wXw show because of some kind of family thing or whatever, Chris wasn't quite sure exactly, and the timing had been perfect. He'd desperately needed to get away, so he'd taken the job and arranged to do a couple of GSW shows while he was there.

He had to figure out what to do about the situation with Alex, but he couldn't think straight at home. At home, Alex was asleep in the next room, and Chris spent an hour before he went to sleep every night trying to keep himself from going into Alex's room and sliding into bed next to him. Or he was out, and Chris spent the whole time feeling guilty because he knew the reason Alex was out was because he couldn't stand watching Chris pull away from him. Or he was right there, and Chris couldn't think about anything other than how badly he wanted to reach out and run his fingers over Alex's lips. He needed this distance. It had given him clarity.

More than anything else, he was looking forward to simply being around Alex again. He felt as though they hadn't spent any time together in weeks, and that was essentially true. Even before he'd gone to Germany, they'd barely been around each other, because every time Alex walked into his living room, Chris found an excuse to walk out. Eventually, Alex had stopped walking in at all.

Chris hated to remember how hurt Alex had been that he'd taken this job. Alex had grinned and jokingly wished him good luck with the fanbase that had practically booed him out of the building last time around, but he knew Chris was only taking the booking to get away from him, and Chris couldn't explain the reasoning behind it to him.

Not then, at least. Maybe he could now. He still wasn't completely sure how he felt about the developments with Alex, but he'd accepted that his feelings for him weren't going away, and that he was going to have to deal with it. He wasn't sure what he found hardest to process, the fact that he'd apparently been wrong (or at least half wrong) about his sexuality all these years or the fact that his newfound attraction to men was centred on his closest friend, but either way he was going to have to grow a pair and tell Alex about it.

Perhaps something positive could grow out of it. Perhaps he and Alex could take a tentative stab at a relationship, but he wasn't at all certain about that just yet. The whole thing was all very alien and terrifying, but Chris knew he had to be honest about it. He felt much calmer having realised that, because he knew that whether they acted on it or not, Alex would understand.

Chris closed his eyes, trying not to think about how hard it would be to explain all this to Alex. It took some time, but eventually he managed to sleep.

* * *

Chris opened his front door as the cab pulled away from the kerb, pulling the key back out of the lock and letting the door slam against the wall. He tugged his case inside and closed the door behind him, leaning back against it for a moment. He was so glad to be home.

He dropped his keys on the hallway table and strode into his living room, and was surprised to find it spotless - Alex had clearly been busy. He was still staring at Alex's handiwork (he'd even cleaned the front wall, which had been in a terrible state ever since the ketchup incident) when Alex came in from the kitchen, smiling wide and holding out a glass of water. Chris accepted it gratefully.

Alex looked good; maybe it was just that Chris was allowing himself to properly admire Alex for the first time, or maybe it was that he looked more self-assured than he had for the last couple of months. His Misfits T-shirt couldn't have clung to his torso tighter even if it had been wet, and he'd clearly been spending a lot of time in the gym. He'd changed his hair again, the sides and back cut very close with new zigzag patterns shaved into it. Chris was assailed by the thought that Alex had a very attractively shaped head, and while he was telling himself how stupid that was, Alex ran his tongue over his lips and Chris forgot about everything except his mouth. Chris had to actively try to focus when he spoke.

"I have some news!"

"Me too." Chris sat on the sofa and gestured for Alex to sit next to him. Alex complied, but somehow there was a barrier between them that hadn't been there previously. Chris hoped he could change that. "You go first."

Alex grinned. "I've found an apartment."

Chris' mouth hung open in disbelief. "What?"

"I found somewhere to go, I'm moving out. I figured it was time to stop mooching around here and get my life back on track, so I found myself a little place in Plymouth, near my parents." Alex's hands moved constantly as he talked, and he seemed to be quite excited about this new place. "It's only small, one bedroom, but it's in a decent area and the neighbours are practically deaf."

"That's an important concern for someone with your understanding of volume control," Chris sniped, but his heart wasn't in it at all. Alex seemed too distracted to even notice.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm a noisy little fuck." Alex turned a little more serious. "Look, I know I've overstayed my welcome here, and that's the last thing I wanted to do. I love you to death, man, and I don't want to be under your feet all the time. Anyway, I've already signed the rental agreement so I'll be out of your hair before you know it. You can get on with your life, and I can start my new one."

Despite the water he'd thrown down his neck, Chris' mouth felt dry. "New life, huh?"

"Yeah." Alex grinned again, and Chris thrust aside his own feelings on the subject. If Alex was this happy about moving out, then Chris should be happy for him too. "So anyway, what's your news?"

Chris smiled. "Oh, nothing as exciting as yours. Just some new contacts, is all. We might have a possibility of some shows in Italy sometime soon."

"That'd be cool. How was Germany?"

"It was good. They didn't kill me and my leg didn't fall off, so I'm calling it a win." Making small talk with Alex right now was the last thing Chris wanted to do, so he stood up. "All the travelling has wiped me out though, so I'm gonna go to bed for a while. Maybe when I get up later we can do something together? Make the most of the time you're here."

"Sure, sounds good to me." Alex smiled, and Chris didn't honestly know if he meant it or not. "It'll be nice to have everything back how it used to be."

Chris returned the smile. "Yeah. Just like before." He excused himself to bed, hauling his case upstairs with him and dumping it on his bedroom floor. Soon, he supposed, it could go back in the spare room.


	4. Part 4

"Okay, let's go over this again." Chris counted things off on his fingers as he spoke. "Your new bed, sofa and TV are being delivered on Monday. Your phone is being connected on Wednesday, and on Thursday your fridge is being delivered and your cable connected. Got it this time?"

Alex grinned. "No, but as long as I keep answering the door, I won't miss anything."

Chris looked at him dubiously. "Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, you know what to do if your apartment catches fire, right?"

"Yeah, call Petey." Alex relented at Chris' worried expression. "Relax, I can probably manage not to kill myself, okay? Jeez, you'd think you'd just be relieved to get me out the door, all things considered."

Chris scowled. "You're not half the burden you think you are."

"Aw, that's sweet of you to say." Alex patted Chris' cheek patronisingly, and to his annoyance Chris found that, far from objecting to the insulting behaviour of the irritating little cocksucker, he just wanted Alex to keep touching him. "But you hated me being here, and you know it. Anyway, last night tonight. Me and all my shit are off to my apartment tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Chris tried to hide his dismay. "You'll have nowhere to sleep."

Alex shrugged. "I'm a big boy, it won't kill me to sleep on the floor for a few days. So, my last night, what do you say we get stoned off our faces?"

"Sounds good to me. I could sure as hell use it." Chris smiled. "We should probably roll a little stash in advance if we want it to last the night. We'll be incapable of rolling anymore by about eleven, and if we call Petey again to come and do it for us, he'll be pissed."

"And Mrs. Petey will fucking murder us," Alex agreed. "Okay, pass the tin and I'll get stuck in. You put some music on. Not Pink Floyd. You had Comfortably Numb on repeat for six fucking hours yesterday. It's not a sign of good mental health, you know?"

Chris laughed. "Something a bit more energetic for you, huh?"

"Something with more bite. Something noisy and aggressive."

"Something like you, in other words."

"Basically, yeah." Alex grinned. "C'mon, man, I know you've got some Dead Kennedys in your collection somewhere."

Once the rolling began, Chris sat and watched Alex's nimble fingers as he worked, wondering hopelessly how it would feel to have those fingertips skimming down his chest and abdomen, or trailing slowly into his pubic hair. He decided after a couple of minutes that he was only tormenting himself by eyeing Alex's hands, and he lounged back on the sofa instead, staring at the ceiling. This was nice - just hanging out with Alex, not doing anything in particular. He figured he'd better make the most of it, because he doubted it would be happening much in the future.

* * *

Chris sat on the edge of the bed in his spare room, at a loss for what to do with himself. Alex's scent still hung in the air - hardly surprising, since he hadn't moved any of his own stuff back into the room since Alex had left, and he hadn't been able to bring himself to change the bedding either - and if he closed his eyes, he could almost pretend Alex was still here. But only almost, because it was never this quiet when Alex was around.

A couple of days after he and Alex had come home from California, he'd found Alex in his bedroom, sitting on his bed, doing nothing. Alex never had explained why he was there; they'd got distracted with a debate about whether a facehugger would have any interest in impregnating a zombie, and whether said zombie could sustain the alien progeny. He wondered whether Alex had been in his room for the same reason he was now in the one that used to be Alex's.

He felt something soft rubbing at his hand, and he looked down to find Bonesaw nudging at him and watching him. He smiled. "That's cute, the way you pretend you give a shit," he said, obligingly stroking Bonesaw's head. He was rewarded with loud purring, and he picked him up for a cuddle, aware that he was doing it more to feed his own need for affection than for the cat. Bonesaw seemed mildly put out, and the purring stopped.

"What am I gonna do, huh?" he asked, mostly because he couldn't stand being surrounded by so much silence. He knew it was a stupid question, and not only because the cat couldn't answer him even if it cared. The fact was, there wasn't much he _could_ do. Alex was gone, and he seemed happier that way.

Chris didn't see a lot of him now. The worst part about that was that it was a deliberate choice on Alex's part. There was no mistaking it, because Alex kept taking bookings in the south - Alex hated the south, almost every time he'd worked there in the past was because TNA had made him. But now he took every southern job he could get his hands on, rather than chance being on the same show as Chris. Scott hadn't approached him with even a single offer of a tag team booking, and the only possible reason for that was if Alex had said he wasn't doing them. There was no way that not one promoter in the entire world had tried to book one of the best teams in North America.

Alex never came over. He hadn't once invited Chris to visit his new place, and the only time Chris ran into him was when the band practised. Even then, they barely talked to each other if they could help it. On the one occasion Alex had started a conversation directly with Chris rather than with the group, it had been to suggest it was about time Chris started looking for a new girlfriend. It was an innocent remark, intended to be helpful, and Chris was pretty sure he'd covered his response, but Alex may as well have punched him in the stomach. It was abundantly clear that Alex preferred his life without Chris in it.

It was ridiculous, in Chris' opinion, that the thing it took to make him realise he definitely wanted a relationship with Alex was Alex moving on and leaving him behind. He couldn't stand the thought that if he'd only figured it all out in his head a little sooner, he might have gotten his wish. On the other hand, Alex seemed to have abandoned whatever feelings he had for Chris with relative ease, so if they'd started something it was quite possible that Chris would just have suffered a painful and humiliating rejection when Alex's desire for him faded a couple of months down the line. Maybe he'd had a lucky escape.

Chris wasn't about to talk to Alex about what might have been. Alex had made his decision and Chris respected that. Besides, the important thing was that Alex was happy - and he was. He would bounce into the studio, as boisterous and lively as ever, full of hilarious road stories. It wouldn't be fair for Chris to ask him to revisit what had apparently been an unpleasant phase for him.

Chris was still crippled by his feelings for Alex, but he took comfort in women. He let them soothe him and make him forget for a while, and there was no shortage of volunteers to offer him succour. The last time he was in Reseda, he'd even hooked up again with the same woman he and Alex had fucked. She was just as soft and inviting as before, and she'd been tactful enough not to ask him where Alex was. He'd lost himself in her and it had been perfect, until he'd kissed her and remembered that Alex had cum in that same mouth. He'd got the distinct impression she was confused by how tender he was with her after that.

Chris stood up, turning around to watch the sun streaming through the window. The back of his house always got the best of the sun. He'd actually been considering having contractors replace the window in the back wall of his living room with a bigger one, so that Alex had better light to draw by, but obviously that was unnecessary now. When he'd been thinking about that yesterday, it seemed silly that he'd been willing to go to that length for a guest; until then it hadn't dawned on him that when he'd offered Alex his spare room, he was inviting him to move in permanently. Alex really was a lot like a cat. If he was comfortable and life was good, he was far too lazy to change it. Chris had never expected him to get around to finding an apartment, and now he was curious whether his subconscious had known he had a thing for Alex even back when Alex and Julie were still together.

Frowning at his weakness and sick of dwelling on his stupid obsession with a man who'd evidently moved on, Chris put Bonesaw on the floor and set about stripping the bed. Maybe the house would feel less empty when it was rattling with the noise of the washing machine. And if it didn't, he had a bottle of bourbon downstairs that might help.

* * *

"So. What the fuck's the deal with you and Alex?"

Chris paused with the last slice of pizza halfway to his mouth, eyeing Petey warily. "Nothing, why?"

"Come on, man, I'm not blind. I'll have that if you're not eating it." Petey took the pizza slice out of Chris' unresisting hand. "Time was, if you were having pizza and weed, Alex would be the first person you'd ask over."

"So I don't ask him over one night, and you think that means there's something going on?" Chris smiled, reaching for his beer. "Alex is right, Canadians are fucking crazy. And ugly."

"No, this is just an example. Look, he gets his own place, stops wrestling with you, you invite me over, he invites me over, but you never invite each other... something's going on."

"Nothing's going on," Chris insisted. "Even if it was, would it matter? As long as everyone's happy, that's all that counts, right?"

"You're not though, are you?" Petey countered. "You're walking around with a face like a slapped ass. And don't think I haven't noticed you've started drinking more often."

Chris was surprised. "Am I really drinking that much? I didn't think so."

Petey shook his head. "Well, not really. But more than you used to."

Chris sighed, resting his chin in his hand and his elbow on his knee. "Alright, maybe there is kind of a thing with me and Alex. It's personal though."

"Hey, you don't need to tell me about it, I don't care about the details." Petey held his hands up in mock surrender to emphasise his point. "You just need to sort it out."

"I don't think I can." Chris smiled ruefully. "Anyway, Alex is happy, I can't go bringing all this up and spoiling that for him."

Petey snorted. "No he fucking isn't. He's every bit as much of a miserable fuck as you. The pair of you are depressing the shit out of me."

Confused, Chris blinked repeatedly before answering. "What are you talking about? Alex is happy. I haven't seen him anything other than happy since he moved out."

"Yeah, and he's putting so much effort into fooling you, he forgets to fool everyone else. I've never seen him this miserable, not even when his back was fucked. I'm sick of his fucking moping." Petey examined his beer bottle, and was disappointed to find it was empty.

"Dude, you're swearing a lot more than usual."

"Sonjay called me earlier."

"Ah." Chris nodded sympathetically. Sonjay's Tourette's was catching. "Alex seriously isn't okay?"

"Not by a long way. So if straightening yourself out isn't enough impetus for you to fix whatever the fuck's wrong, do it to straighten him out. I swear to God, you're like a pair of eight-year-olds." Petey fixed him with a glare. "And I'll be checking to make sure you've made up, so don't even think about blowing it off." He softened slightly. "You're my friends, man. I hate seeing you so down."

Chris grinned. "See, this is why you're the adult around here."

Petey scowled, snatching Chris' beer out of his hand and draining the last from the bottle. "Somebody has to be, and fuck knows you two aren't capable. Now go get me another beer."


	5. Part 5

Chris sat with his forehead resting against the steering wheel, trying to work up some courage. He was parked outside Alex's place, and he'd rather have been anywhere else. He didn't know how Alex would respond to him turning up on his doorstep, and the thought that Alex might ask him to leave tied his stomach in knots.

He'd been trying to figure out all day what to say to Alex, but he'd come up completely blank. It would have been so much easier if Alex had been a girl; not only would Chris not have been so damn confused, but he would have shown up with a bunch of flowers and turned on the charm. He knew how to work girls. Sadly, while Alex was many things - some positive, some negative - one thing he was not was a girl. The best possible result Chris could hope for if he turned on the charm would be for Alex to hurt himself badly enough while laughing that Chris could bundle him into the car and kidnap him while he was helpless.

He sat up, meeting his own eyes in the rear view mirror. "It's _Alex_, dude," he told himself. "Just talk to him. Jesus, it's not fucking rocket science." He knew that while he sat here, he was going to get more and more nervous and pissy, so he took a deep breath and made himself get out of the car. The night air was chilly and it was raining a little so he hurried over to Alex's door, huddling on the porch.

Alex's place wasn't a custom built apartment, it was basically the ground floor of a house that had been split into two. Considering what a noisy little bastard Alex was and how he stamped around the place at times and frequently dropped things, Chris felt his neighbours were very lucky to live above him, not below him. He spent a couple of minutes thinking about this before his subconscious screamed at him to stop being such a pussy and rang the doorbell without his permission. Chris hoped Alex wasn't in.

When the door swung open, Alex looked so surprised that Chris would have laughed if he hadn't been far too busy wrestling with his nerves. It was the first time they'd seen each other since the band had practised two weeks previously, and even then they'd stayed on opposite sides of the studio. They hadn't been this close to each other since Alex had moved, and the desire to push him up against the wall and kiss him hit Chris full force. He shoved his hands in his pockets in case his subconscious got any funny ideas.

"Hey."

Alex's mouth worked silently for a second, and then he stepped aside, holding the door open. "Come in, dude."

Chris caught Alex's scent briefly as he passed him, and it actually made him feel very slightly less anxious. "I figured I should come over and see the place now that you've settled in. I can go if I've caught you at a bad time..."

Alex closed the door. "I always have time for you. You should know that by now."

In a blinding moment of clarity, Chris understood that Alex hadn't been avoiding him at all; he'd been trying not to get in Chris' way, giving him the freedom from Alex that Alex thought he wanted. He felt like such an unbelievable tool. He smiled. "If I'd realised that, I'd have been here weeks ago."

Alex grinned. "You're here now. Come on through." He gestured to the first doorway off the narrow hall, and Chris walked through into Alex's living room. Looking around, Chris stopped so abruptly that Alex nearly piled into the back of him. "You don't like it?"

Chris groped for the right words. "It's not that I don't like it, it's more that it's not what I would have expected." It really wasn't; it was tidy, for one thing. Chris couldn't tell if that was because Alex was living like an adult and picking up after himself, or because there was nothing there to make a mess with - and that was the second thing. There were no books, no comics or graphic novels. There were a couple of bookcases full of wrestling DVDs, but there were no other DVDs in sight. There weren't even any band posters up on the walls. There was nothing about this room that said it was Alex's space, just bland magnolia walls and beige carpeting.

"I figured, I'm supposed to be a grown-up now, it was time I had a clear out and started living like one."

"And how's that working out for you?" Chris asked, his tone clearly implying that he thought it was a stupid idea.

Alex smiled ruefully. "It's taking a bit of getting used to," he admitted. "But I have to grow up sometime, right?"

"No." Chris shook his head emphatically. "No, you don't. Not ever. You wouldn't be the same guy if you grew up."

"Surely that'd be a good thing?" Alex began, but he cut himself short when Chris punched him in the arm.

"No," Chris repeated slowly, as if Alex was very stupid. "Not ever."

"Alright, alright! Jeez." Alex rubbed at his arm. "Are you going to sit down, or would you prefer to continue beating me?"

Chris rolled his eyes, muttering, "Drama queen," under his breath. He sank onto the sofa, and then bounced on it a couple of times appraisingly. "At least your sofa is nice."

Alex went through a door which presumably led to his kitchen."It really is," he called back, and Chris could hear a fridge being opened and closed. "I've fallen asleep on there a couple of times instead of going to bed, and not woken up the least bit sore." He reappeared with two bottles of Pepsi in his hands, and Chris accepted the one he held out gratefully. All this nervousness was giving him a ridiculously dry mouth. He took a long drink, screwed the lid back on and set it on the coffee table.

"And how's your bed?" Chris asked, and immediately regretted it. This was difficult enough without having to picture Alex in bed.

Luckily, Alex didn't seem inclined to dwell on the subject. He shrugged. "It's a bed. It's fine." He sat down next to Chris, and Chris found he'd moved closer without ever noticing himself in motion. If it registered with Alex, he didn't betray any response to it.

"How are things in general?" Chris watched Alex closely. "How's the new place working out?"

Alex gazed down at the plastic bottle in his hands. "It's okay. It's hard to adjust to being alone so often." He smiled and put the bottle on the table next to Chris'. "I'm getting used to that though. And I'm getting tons of time to draw. Plus, I don't have cat hair all over everything," he added with a grin.

Chris saw straight through Alex's piss-poor attempt to put a bright facade on his feelings about living alone. Alex wasn't the kind of guy to take pleasure in solitude, and he never would be.

"Come home with me," Chris blurted out, and immediately castigated himself in his head. _Subtle, you fucking retard._

Alex blinked in surprise, but he recovered himself quickly. "No, this is my home now. I'll adjust."

Chris completely ignored everything but the first word. "Why not? You hate it here, don't lie to me."

"All I did was get on your nerves." Alex reached out and put a reassuring hand on Chris' wrist. "I know our friendship suffered while I was in your house. I'm hoping that eventually, when you want to be around me again, we can fix it. That's a lot more important to me than having someone else around the house."

Chris was acutely aware of the heat of Alex's hand on his wrist. It was such a small thing, but it was the first time Alex had touched him in months, and he could have sworn it was making his heart beat faster. "You don't get on my nerves. There was a bunch of other stuff and I'm sorry I was such an asshole, but I really want you to come back home with me. I miss you."

Alex's expression softened, but he still shook his head. "I can't. There are things you don't know about, other reasons why living in your house was hard for me, and I can't do that to myself again. This is the right place for me now."

"No it isn't," Chris argued insistently. "C'mon, man. Your room is waiting for you." He looked down at his hands, trying to hide his fear. "Or you could share mine."

Alex's grip tightened ever so slightly on his wrist, but there was no other response. After several agonising seconds, Chris forced himself to look up. He found Alex's eyes boring into him.

"What?"

"You could share mine," Chris repeated, and his own voice sounded deafening to him. "Unless I've been wrong about how you feel all along."

There were several more seconds of silence, and Chris fervently wished he'd kept his mouth shut. "You're not wrong," Alex said finally, and Chris let out the breath he'd unwittingly been holding. "Are you sure about this? Because if I let myself think this could happen and then you change your mind..."

Chris nodded vigorously. "I am _so_ sure about this. It's taken me some time and I know I've been a dickhead along the way, but I want you, Alex. I want to make a go of this."

"You want me," Alex repeated, and there was a note of uncertainty in his tone.

"I'm in love with you," Chris amended. It was the first time he'd been so honest with himself, and it felt like a weight had lifted off his chest. He grinned, twisting his hand around to take the fingers that had been wrapped around his wrist in his own. "I'm in love with you and I want you to come home. Please."

Alex looked at him for a long moment, and then he pulled his hand away and stood up. "I'll get my jacket."

Chris blinked. "Just like that?"

"Just like that." Alex smiled. "Unless you want to make this more complicated?" Chris shook his head emphatically, and Alex continued. "You're right, I fucking hate it here. I want to be back at your place with you. I even miss your damn cats."

"Our place," Chris corrected, already heading for the door. He wanted to get out of there before Alex thought better of it. He'd wanted this so much, but he'd never once managed to think past the point where he told Alex how he felt; the whole thing felt surreal and fragile, and he was afraid that anything he said or did could shatter the dream. He was almost afraid even to touch Alex, in case Alex slipped through his fingers like sand and he awoke to find himself alone in his bed.

"Our place. Man, that's weird." Alex followed Chris out into the hallway, grabbing one of his jackets from the row of hooks on the wall and checking to make sure his keys were still in the pocket. "Come on then, take me home."

The drive back to the house was silent, but not at all awkward. It was the silence of two people so accustomed to each other that they no longer felt the need to fill every moment with unnecessary words, and Chris loved every comfortable second of it. This, he felt, was what their relationship would be, and it would be beautiful.

When Chris stopped at a set of traffic lights, he felt Alex's hand settle gently on his thigh, solid and real, and he turned to share a smile with his best friend - his boyfriend, he reminded himself smugly. Alex's face was half in shadow, the other half tinged with yellow from the glaring streetlamps, but Chris could see an expression there that he hadn't seen in longer than he cared to remember; the one that said Alex didn't have a care in the world, and was perfectly happy exactly where he was. The desire to kiss him was as strong as it had ever been, and the hand on Chris' thigh was undoubtedly contributing to that, but Chris knew there was no rush. Alex wasn't going anywhere. Then the traffic started moving again, and Alex's hand withdrew to let Chris concentrate on driving.

Once they got back to the house, Alex ditched his jacket on the sofa and made his way gleefully around the living room, reacquainting himself with everything. Chris flipped the light on and retrieved Alex's jacket to hang it up with his own.

"Oh, TV. You're so much nicer than mine. Hello, armchair! I'm really sorry about that stain Chris doesn't know about yet, but under the circumstances, I'm pretty sure he'll forgive me. I've missed you, coffee table, despite your penchant for attacking my shins." Alex scooped Marlee up off the armchair, and Marlee was sufficiently used to the antics of idiot adult males that he didn't react at all when Alex hugged him close. "I've even missed you, you horrible, ginger ball of mangy fur." He put the cat down again, and Marlee bolted upstairs while he had the chance.

He continued through to the kitchen, and waxed lyrical on his love for Chris' fridge for a while. Chris followed him out, bracing his backside against the edge of the kitchen table and watching in amusement by the light flooding through the doorway while Alex reaffirmed his affection for everything in the room.

Finally, Alex ran out of things to express his love for, and he turned back to Chris. "And you..." He leaned in close, lowering his voice. "I missed you more than anything." His hands stole around Chris' waist, and Chris closed his eyes in anticipation as Alex's face approached him slowly.

The first touch of Alex's lips was light and tentative, and Chris followed him insistently as he pulled back. "Last chance to change your mind," Alex mumbled, but whatever else he had to say was lost as Chris' mouth sealed firmly over his. His hands tightened on Chris' hips and Chris' arms wound around his neck, and they could both feel the heat flaring between them despite the innocence of the kiss.

Chris broke away to place tender kisses along Alex's jaw and down his throat, and Alex angled his head back to allow him easier access. Chris discovered he liked the soft sting of Alex's stubble against his lips, and he opened his mouth to let his tongue press against Alex's skin.

"I daydreamed about this so many times," he heard Alex say, and he was fascinated by the movement of Alex's Adam's apple against his lips.

Chris pulled back long enough to ask, "Is it like you imagined?"

"Not even slightly." Alex ducked his head, seeking out Chris' mouth. Chris accepted the kiss eagerly, his hands moving to clasp at the sides of Alex's head and neck. He let his lips open, and to his gratification Alex immediately reciprocated.

When Chris slid his tongue into Alex's mouth, Alex let out a tiny groan that Chris was sure would be burned into his memory for years to come. He felt Alex step forward, pressing their bodies together, and he couldn't believe how relaxed they both were about this. Alex tugged at his T-shirt, and Chris regretfully broke the kiss so that he could pull his shirt off and throw it aside.

"You too," he said as he pointed at Alex's thin sweater, his voice soft and a little breathy, and he sat himself on the table, watching hungrily while Alex complied with his wishes. He couldn't keep from reaching out to touch Alex's strong shoulders, running his fingers over their muscled contours. It was so different from what he normally associated with attraction, but Alex's hard, lean frame, as powerful and masculine as his own, aroused him every bit as much as the most buxom women he'd had.

Alex bent to take Chris' nipple into his mouth, and Chris gasped in pleasure, arching into the sensation as Alex sucked gently. His hand came up to cup Alex's head, and he shifted his position as his growing erection became increasingly uncomfortable within the confines of his pants. Alex raised his head with a smile.

"It was your damn nipples that started this whole thing," he said, and Chris cast his mind back to figure out what he was talking about.

"Oh. Oh! That was a long time ago now." Chris pressed a kiss to Alex's temple. "My nipples and I are very grateful you've decided we're worth the wait."

Alex grinned. "Well, I'm done waiting now. If it's okay with you, I'd really like to fuck you on your kitchen table."

"Our kitchen table," Chris corrected. He opened his thighs to accommodate Alex's body and pulled him close, capturing his lips in another kiss while he fumbled with Alex's belt. Alex's tongue delved into Chris' mouth lustfully as he reached down to help, but if anything he slowed Chris' progress, their fingers tripping over each other in their eagerness. Finally the belt conceded defeat, and Chris popped the button on Alex's pants and drew down the zipper.

He wasn't hesitant as he reached inside; it may have been a new experience, but he and Alex were very sure about what they wanted. He slipped his fingers beneath the waistband of Alex's briefs and Alex drew back from their kiss, resting his forehead against Chris'. Chris' hand wrapped lightly around Alex's cock, and Alex inhaled sharply, his arms curling around Chris' shoulders.

Alex's cock was hot in Chris' hand, and Chris found that handling it was very different from masturbation. In masturbation, the majority of his attention was taken by the stimulation his cock received, but without that distraction he found himself far more aware of the details of the length in his hand. He could feel the texture of the skin and how it moved over the flesh beneath with the motion of his fingers, and the roughness of Alex's pubic hair against the backs of his fingers. He stroked gently, running his thumb through the semen leaking from the head.

"I love you," Alex said softly, and Chris grabbed his chin in his other hand, pulling him in for another kiss. Alex breathed raggedly into his mouth, and Chris was overwhelmed by the knowledge that Alex's arousal was all because of him. He would happily have stroked him all night, just to watch Alex come undone in his hand, but Alex had other ideas.

Tugging Chris' hand back out of his briefs, Alex pulled away from the kiss to mutter, "I've waited too long for this, Chris. I want you."

Chris nodded his understanding, and he slipped off the edge of the table, getting out of his pants and boxer-briefs as quickly as he could and toeing off his sneakers. He yanked off his socks and abandoned them with the rest of his clothes, and then he sat himself back on the edge of the table. When he looked up, he found Alex standing motionless, his mouth slightly open. "What?"

Alex shook his head. "Nothing, I..." His eyes swept up and down Chris' body, and Chris shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny. "You're so fucking sexy."

Chris laughed, reaching out for him. "I have some competition. Man, when you were wandering around in that towel..."

"Oh, is _that_ what that shitfit was all about? I was turning you on?" Alex grinned, moving in close. He let his hands travel up Chris' thighs and over his hips. "If just walking around in a towel -"

"All wet and tempting," Chris interjected.

"...all wet and tempting, was enough to cause that tantrum, it's a good thing you didn't see me ten minutes earlier, jacking off in the shower."

Chris stared. "Okay, tomorrow I'm watching you do that. Damn."

Alex pushed suggestively at Chris' thighs, and Chris obligingly opened them to welcome Alex between them. He wished Alex had taken his pants off, because he wanted to feel all of Alex's body against him, but before he could complain about it Alex's hands were on his shoulders, pushing him backwards.

"Lie back," Alex urged, and he looked so hungry for Chris that Chris couldn't have denied him even if he'd tried. He followed Alex's instruction, lying back on the table and spreading his legs a little further into the bargain. Alex's hands skimmed up his thighs again, pausing at the top this time where one of them rubbed over his cock while the other cupped his balls. Chris moaned, his hips thrusting forward of their own volition, and he could cheerfully have strangled Alex when he removed his hands.

"Seriously, you look so hot," Alex breathed, and Chris smiled up at him despite his frustration. Alex's hands found his legs again, running up the insides until they came to rest on his inner thighs, just inches from his ass. "I don't wanna push you," Alex said softly. "We can do this the other way around if you like."

Chris rolled his eyes. "Yeah, because up till now I've been such a reluctant partner in all this." He reached down and grabbed Alex's right hand, pulling it to his lips and sucking two of his fingers into his mouth.

Alex laughed. "You know, it's really hard to take you to task for being such a mouthy motherfucker when you're doing that."

Chris released Alex's fingers. "Good." He waited breathlessly for Alex's touch, but Alex still seemed hesitant.

"I don't really know what I'm doing," Alex confessed. "I wouldn't care if it was anybody else, but..."

Chris grinned in reassurance. "Neither do I, but I still want to do it. Some of it will be the same, and I'm pretty sure we can figure the rest out as we go along."

Alex smiled, and even with half his face in shadow, Chris thought it made him look breathtakingly sexy. "Just so long as you're not expecting a slick performance from me first time out," Alex joked.

"Believe me, the last thing I want from you, ever, is any kind of performance." Chris allowed his need to write itself over his features. "Just touch me, Alex."

Turning abruptly serious, Alex briefly sucked on his fingers to wet them again. "Tell me if you want anything different," he said, reaching down to twine the fingers of his other hand with Chris'. "Anything at all."

Chris nodded, squeezing Alex's hand in encouragement, and his breath caught in his throat as Alex's fingers grazed over the crack of his ass. He let one of his legs rise to curl around Alex's hip, making sure Alex stayed as close to him as possible, and a moment later he felt the blunt pressure of Alex's middle finger against his entrance. He willed himself to relax, feeling the gradual intrusion as his body yielded to Alex's insistence and pressing back against it eagerly.

He groaned when Alex's lips closed over his nipple again, the apex of Alex's tongue flicking over it repeatedly as it hardened. He brought his free hand up to cup the back of Alex's head, letting his eyes fall closed as the finger inside him was withdrawn and then gently driven into him again. He wouldn't have guessed Alex was even capable of being a tender lover, and he was hit full force by the strength of his feeling for Alex while Alex's hand carefully worked him open. His cock ached for attention, rubbing against Alex's chest as he squirmed on Alex's fingers.

Tugging Alex's head away from his nipple, Chris pulled him up and into another feverish kiss. "Take your pants off," he murmured when Alex broke away to breathe.

Alex nodded wordlessly, withdrawing his hand and pulling away to remove the rest of his clothes and his sneakers. Chris sat up and watched with barely concealed greed as Alex's body was displayed before him, and when Alex was finally naked he slipped off the table and backed him up against the fridge. Alex flinched as his skin made contact with the cold metal, goosebumps breaking out over his arms and legs, but he barely even noticed the chill, enthralled as he was by the desire on Chris' face.

"You're fucking beautiful," Chris breathed, and without giving Alex a chance to respond he leaned in to claim his mouth in a hard, demanding kiss, his hands grasping brutishly at Alex's hips. With their bodies flush against each other, Chris was acutely aware of Alex's cock pressing against his abdomen.

Releasing Alex abruptly, Chris dropped to his knees, his hands across Alex's thighs and hips pushing him back against the fridge. He didn't pause for even a second, immediately opening his mouth and taking the head of Alex's cock inside it. He smiled at Alex's choked whimper, taking almost as much satisfaction from Alex's hands clutching convulsively in his hair as he took from the new sensation of hard flesh between his lips.

Chris sank his mouth down on Alex's length, too fast for Alex, he knew; he could tell Alex was struggling to keep his orgasm from building, but after the months of denial, he wanted Alex so badly he could barely contain his need. He drew back and then took Alex's cock deep into his mouth again, and he resisted fiercely when Alex tried to push him away.

"Get off me, dammit," he heard Alex mutter above him. "I can't hold it back, and if I cum in your mouth instead of your ass, I'm gonna superkick you in the face."

Chris reluctantly conceded, pulling back up the length of Alex's erection and releasing it with regret. He got back to his feet and attacked Alex's mouth roughly again, before letting him go and demanding, "Fuck me, Alex."

Without waiting for a response, Chris turned and strode back to the table. When he turned around, he found Alex right behind him; evidently, Alex was every bit as eager for this as he himself was.

"You're not going to change your mind, right?" Alex asked as Chris pulled himself up to sit on the table again, and from the insecurity tainting the lust in his voice, Chris knew he wasn't talking about the sex.

"Fuck me," Chris repeated, a little more softly, reaching out to take Alex's hand. Alex accepted his reassurance, lacing their fingers together again, and Chris leaned forward to capture Alex's lips in another needy kiss. Alex gently pushed him onto his back, following him down so they wouldn't have to break the kiss, and as Chris' tongue slid into Alex's mouth, he felt Alex's cock pressing against his ass. He wrapped his legs around Alex's hips, urging him inside, although Alex needed no encouragement.

Chris closed his eyes, pushing back wantonly as Alex's cock sank into him inch by inch. Alex had prepared him well, and although the sensation was still alien to him, his body accepted the intrusion without complaint. He felt very full, and somehow emotionally naked, and he wished there was a way he could convey that to Alex without having to actually say it aloud and sound like a pussy.

Breaking the kiss and straightening up a little, Alex pulled out and re-entered Chris' ass, his cock sliding smoothly in to the hilt before he withdrew again. His brows were drawn down sharply, and Chris was painfully aroused by the intensity on his face.

"Keep going," Chris panted frantically. "That's fucking perfect." He tried to meet Alex's hard thrusts as Alex settled into a steady, harsh rhythm, but it was difficult in his position and after a while he was forced to admit to himself that he really had to leave it to Alex. As soon as he stilled, Alex bent over him again, nipping softly at his throat.

Chris released Alex's hand, wrapping his arms around his lover's broad back, one hand resting on the back of Alex's neck while he stared at the dark ceiling, trying to retain some semblance of control. He could feel his ass stretching to accommodate Alex's cock every time Alex drove into him, and some of Alex's strokes were rubbing over a spot inside him that made his toes curl; he was beginning to wish he'd done this years ago.

"I love you," Chris whispered fiercely, and he gasped aloud when Alex bit into the sensitive flesh where his neck and shoulder met in response. He writhed in pleasure as Alex's hand sought out his right nipple, the thumb rubbing slow circles over it, and a moment later the other hand wrapped firmly around his straining cock. Alex seemed to like the way it made him moan, driving into him harder as he matched the tempo of his strokes on Chris' erection to the pistoning of his hips. Chris knew that stimulating him in such a variety of ways had to be taking too much concentration for Alex to be able to revel in his own arousal, but he was too lost in his desire to find the will to object.

Chris screwed his eyes shut, aware that his attempts to fight back his orgasm were hopeless, but not willing to let this incredible feeling be over. "You're gonna make me cum," he said quietly, and he was surprised by how hoarse he sounded. Alex's mouth ceased its assault on Chris' throat, shifting up to his ear.

"Go on, Chris," Alex whispered. "I wanna see it." He leaned back slightly, and Chris' arms were pulled from their position across his back. One came to rest on Alex's shoulder, while the other trailed down his spine, settling on his ass. The muscle in it tensed with every thrust, and Chris groped lustfully at it while the tension in his groin rose, rapidly spiralling out of control.

Chris heard a series of gasps that seemed to come from very far away, but he knew they must have fallen from his own mouth. He pressed forcefully against Alex's ass, and Alex immediately obliged him, driving into him deeper and harder, and it felt so good Chris couldn't stand it. For a moment, everything seemed to stand still - everything but the hard cock ramming violently into him, and with an awed groan, Chris came in Alex's hand, his head spinning and his mouth dry.

"Fuck," Alex snarled, and he visibly had to force himself to keep stroking Chris' cock until his orgasm subsided, trying to keep his lust from overwhelming him until Chris was done. As Chris slowly came back to himself, Alex took hold of both his shoulders, pulling him back against his aggressive, erratic thrusts. Chris felt a confusing mixture of power and helplessness, and the thought that he could make Alex feel the same way was both terrifying and exciting.

Chris reached up for Alex, pulling him down and holding him tight while Alex drove into him relentlessly, the cum dotted over his belly and chest smearing over Alex's body. He loved the feeling of Alex's sweaty chest sliding against his own and the sound of Alex panting in his ear, and when he heard Alex's breath hitch he squeezed his legs tighter around Alex's hips, silently and desperately urging him to climax. Alex buried his face in Chris' shoulder, and Chris was elated to hear the long, muffled moan that told him Alex was releasing inside him, his thrusts suddenly slow and shallow.

Chris stroked Alex's head lovingly while he slowed further and finally stilled. He could happily have lain on the uncomfortable table for hours in that position, but Alex's hips had barely stopped moving before he was drawing back, his eyes searching Chris' face anxiously. Chris smiled up at him affectionately, and after a moment of hesitation, Alex grinned, reaching down to press his lips softly against Chris' and then settling his head on Chris' chest.

"I'm so glad I drew the curtains earlier," Chris muttered, and he smiled at Alex's bark of laughter.

"We could have given your neighbours quite a shock," Alex agreed. "That nice old lady wouldn't have been offering to feed your cats when you're away anymore."

"Our neighbours," Chris corrected. He had a feeling he was going to be doing that a lot in the near future.

"You're still sure this is what you want?" Alex asked, and he flinched when Chris slapped him around the back of the head.

"Man, I'm beginning to think you're not very bright. I. Love. You. Would you get that through your thick head, fucktard?"

Alex laughed again. "I'm trying, I'm trying! I just never thought this would happen. I'm afraid as soon I start to relax into it, I'll wake up."

"This is real, Alex." Chris dropped a fond kiss onto Alex's head. "We're really here, together, and I think I'm falling more in love with you by the second. Also, you pretty much fucked my brains out. Goddamn."

Alex raised his head and smirked. "You'd better get used to it, I'm fairly sure it only made me want you more. You looked so blissful, halfway through I was tempted to stop and demand you do me instead."

"Oh, I will, trust me. I mean, not for the next half an hour or so, but damn, Alex, you're so fucking sexy. Just the thought of waking up and finding you lying next to me, naked... I think there are a lot of early morning blowjobs in your near future."

Alex grinned broadly. "So far, you're excellent boyfriend material."

"I'm not the only one." Chris trailed his fingers idly down Alex's back. "I'm going to have to thank Petey. This never would have happened if he hadn't told me you weren't as happy as I thought."

Alex straightened and gently withdrew his softening cock from Chris' body, his eyes dancing with mischief. "Let's do it now." He strode away into the living room, and Chris pulled himself gingerly to his feet, pausing to wipe his cum from his stomach with the kitchen towel before throwing it to the floor in front of the washing machine. He followed Alex, watching his ass bounce as he moved. He was even more beautiful under brighter lighting, and Chris couldn't tear his eyes from Alex's body as they sank onto the sofa. A moment later he saw Alex absent-mindedly wiping the cum on the back of his hand off on the arm of the sofa, and he decided living with Alex again was going to be disgusting. He wondered apprehensively about the stain on the armchair Alex had mentioned earlier.

"Put him on speaker," Chris said as Alex reached for the phone, and Alex nodded his assent, leaving the receiver in its cradle and hitting number three on the speed dial. Chris turned to lie on his back on the sofa, resting his head on Alex's thigh. It was going to be a little while before he could make himself stop touching Alex, he felt.

A tired version of Petey's voice said, "Hello?" in a long-suffering sort of way.

"Hey!" Alex said with barely contained excitement.

"Hey, Alex. Since you're calling from Chris' phone, I take it you guys have sorted things out?"

Alex and Chris heard an irritable, "Do those little bastards know what fucking time it is?"

"The wife says hi, by the way," Petey added.

"She can't possibly have been asleep," Chris chimed in. "Surely at this time of night you would have been giving her one?"

"They say they're very sorry to have disturbed you, hun," Petey's muffled voice explained.

"You're so full of shit," Petey's better half announced, and a lot of rustling suggested she was turning her back on him.

Petey sighed. "Did you guys actually want anything, or did you just call to ruin my marriage?"

"Well, we called to say thank you." Chris grinned slyly. "Thanks to you, we just had amazing, obscene sex on the kitchen table."

"Ugh!" Petey's horror was very clear from his tone. "I don't need to hear this, thank you very much!"

"It was awesome," Alex added. "I swear to God, Chris has the most unbelievably talented tongue." He looked down at his lover's amused smirk. "Hey, how do you feel about tonguefucking? We never discussed it."

"I'm open to it," Chris replied. "Personally, I'm looking forward to the first time you cum in my mouth, I can't really imagine what it'll be like."

"SHUT UP," Petey's voice rang out from the phone. "I'm going to have fucking nightmares about this."

"It could be worse," Alex suggested. "Visions of it could pop into your head every time you try to have sex."

"Oh, I hate you."

Chris reined in his amusement. "Seriously, dude, thank you. We both appreciate your friendship and the things you do for us. Especially tonight."

"No problem," Petey said, his voice softening fondly. "I'm just surprised it took you this long to figure it out."

"We're that obvious, huh?" Alex asked with a smile.

"Only to someone who knows you well. I'm glad you got it sorted."

"So are we," Alex said, and Chris twisted his head to place an affectionate kiss on Alex's stomach, finding it sticky with cum. He licked his lips, wondering if Alex's would be any different.

"Can I go to sleep now? Assuming I can manage not to have hideously graphic dreams about the two of you indulging in acrobatic and disgusting faggotry?"

Chris laughed. "Sure. Sweet dreams."

"Yeah, right."

The dial tone rang out, and Alex reached over to end it. When it stopped, the silence seemed awfully loud.

"Are you happy?" Chris asked finally.

"Huh? Of course I am!" Alex traced his fingertips over Chris' cheekbone. "It still feels like it isn't real - a few hours ago I knew you'd never love me the same way I loved you. It's going to take a while to get used to this, but I couldn't be any happier."

"I have a few ideas for things to help convince you this is real," Chris said, smirking lewdly as he sat up. "Want to come upstairs so I can show you?"

Alex stood up so fast he nearly fell over his own feet. "Hells yes, I can't think of anything I'd rather do." He disappeared into the hallway, and Chris rose to follow him as the stairs creaked under his weight. "I can't quite wrap my head around the fact that I'll be going to sleep in your bed tonight."

"_Our_ bed," Chris corrected, and he reached out to switch off the light.


End file.
